After we went through a big hardship, life did not suddenly become peaceful. A few years later, another hardship came.That was the moment something deeper began to shake inside me. It felt like it was only happening to us. Again. I started asking questions I never wanted to ask.
Am I not good enough?
Did God forget about us?
Is this going to continue forever?
Is this some kind of test?
Those thoughts were heavy. They were honest. And they were painful.
But in the middle of those questions, something else rose quietly in my heart.
I realized this was not just about hardship anymore.
It was about who we would choose to be in the hardship.
No matter how much we blame God, nothing changes. Sometimes it even gets worse. Anger does not heal. Complaining does not rescue us. But staying with God—even when we do not understand—keeps us alive spiritually.
I began to see us as pieces in God’s hands—like small blocks in a much bigger picture. We cannot see the whole design, but God can. If we walk away, the picture never forms.
So I told myself: Why don’t we just stick to God?
Why don’t we ask for another mercy?
Why don’t we trust that maybe—just maybe—our faith is being deepened?
Maybe God has a bigger plan than we can see.
Maybe this season is shaping something eternal.
Walking away would only lead us further into darkness—into a place the enemy would gladly pull us. I did not want that. I want God to win. No matter what.
Because the truth is—we could have already died.
But we are still here.
And we are stronger than before.
So we chose something very simple.
We went day by day with the Lord.
We stayed still.
We held on.
Faith at this stage was not loud or confident. It was quiet obedience. It was choosing God even when answers did not come. It was trusting that staying with Him was better than any explanation.
This was not the end of our story.
This was the moment our faith stopped depending on circumstances.
And that changed everything.
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